Marriages are made in heaven or so it is said. But it must be maintained on Earth by two people who are full of flaws. There isn’t anything called a perfect marriage.
Every couple in a marriage must pass the test of time, but continue to prove to each other their commitment, their trust, and their love. It isn’t easy and there is no doubt about that.
It is about constantly working hard on each other and on the relationship to ensure that the sailing doesn’t get rough. But what happens when one of the partners estranges? What happens when one cheats? What happens when the solid foundation of the marriage is shaken to the core?
Can a relationship be salvaged when such things happen?
Relationship between two people is pious. But after all, we are human beings wrought to make mistakes. In a relationship, it is possible for one of the partners to feel disillusioned and ultimately cheat.
While it is a grave mistake that can cause a serious dent in the relationship, things can be improved if both the partners are ready to work on the relationship.
The unfortunate truth of our times is that cheating in a relationship is no longer uncommon. It mostly happens when communication between the partners breaks, there is a lack of trust, or when one of them isn’t getting enough from the relationship.
A person tends to seek solace, companionship, or sex from a third-person when these things lack within the relationship.
How to move past cheating? There are usually two types of outcomes of cheating in a relationship – ending it or trying to make it work with renewed vigor.
Not every couple wants to end their relationship due to infidelity. If the core reason is dug out then the relationship can be saved.
More importantly, if both the partners are willing to leave behind the past and start fresh, then it is possible to fall in love after cheating too.
Below we shall be talking about six things couples need to keep in mind in order to save their relationship.
Forgiveness Doesn’t Happen In an Instant
The road to rebuilding your relationship isn’t easy. The first step is forgiveness but this cannot come instantly. A cheating partner should not expect to be forgiven easily and instantly. Seeking forgiveness is considered the toughest part of reconciliation.
It is often frustrating for the cheating partner to wait for forgiveness. For the cheated partner, it requires a lot of strength, rebuilding of trust to be able to forgive. However, if the couple is serious about rebuilding their relationships after cheating, then they must first pass the test of forgiveness.
Not Cheating Again
Having an affair once may be considered a mistake but going for another extra-marital affair after breaking the first cannot be called a mere folly. A cheating partner wanting to get back with their spouse must never get back into an illicit relationship.
Though this sounds simple enough, you would be surprised to know that those who engage in infidelity tend to repeat their mistake, sometimes even without realizing it. So, if you are keen to get back to your spouse or partner, remember that you cannot cheat again.
Take Effort to Rebuild Trust
Ask a random group of people what they consider an indicator of a successful relationship and most would say trust. Yes, trust – something that is often considered more important than even love.
In fact, a relationship cannot strengthen itself unless the partners trust each other. When a partner cheats, the first thing to break is trust. Love may remain due to which they may be willing to put the infidelity behind but rebuilding trust is tough.
The cheating partner has to make a concerted and continuous effort to rebuild the trust. They may have to keep proving themselves time and again why they can be trusted again.
Take Responsibility for Your Action
A cheating partner should never blame the other person for their wrongdoings. Blaming and not taking responsibility is not a good sign when you want to fix your relationship.
Cheating was your choice, no matter the circumstances. You must remember that not everyone in a difficult relationship cheats. If you cheated, it shows your weakness and nothing else.
If you are keen on getting back with your partner, you must take responsibility for your action. Relationship therapists and advisors often reiterate that accepting one’s fault and apologizing for it is half the battle won.
One of the common reasons for infidelity is lack of communication. When one partner feels ignored or doesn’t get enough from the relationship they tend to look elsewhere.
This problem is often in the mind space rather than in reality. That’s why it is important that both the partners communicate with each other, open their hearts, share their grievances and listen. Listening is an active form of communication that must never be ignored.
As important it is to share your feelings, it is equally important to listen and not jump to conclusions. You would be surprised to see how merely talking to each other and sharing your deepest fears can cure your relationship.
Don’t Lie Again
The last tip on how to save a relationship after cheating is this – don’t lie again.
A cheating partner will invariably lie. They will justify why they missed family functions, dinner dates, children’s school programs to hide their guilt. But when you want to get back with your partner, you have to stop lying. Acknowledging your mistake is the first step towards redemption.
The next time is ensuring that it never happens again. The final stage is to not lie in the relationship ever again. You cannot fix the relationship if you are caught lying again. Trust cannot be rebuilt on the basis of a lie.
Fixing a relationship isn’t going to be easy, especially when we are talking about serious issues like infidelity. These are like skeletons in the cupboard that can pop out anytime.
It will take time to rebuild the relationship. It will take time to get back to the old, good times when everything was great between the two of you. If the cheating partner must promise to be honest and forthcoming from now on, the innocent party must also remain vigilant.
You cannot drop your guard anytime soon. No, we aren’t saying you should be suspicious all the time but you should be aware of what’s happening in your partner’s life.
You could probably download a phone lookup app that will allow you to see how your partner is accessing their phone and for what purpose. If you see anything suspicious you can openly ask about it.
As we have already mentioned it will take time to rebuild the relationship but when both the partners are willing to pass through the test, then they can succeed no matter what.
A relationship is built over time. But its foundation can wash away in one moment. Fixing is not impossible but it takes effort from both partners.
The effort must be more from the cheating partner who has to work harder to rebuild trust in the relationship.